Invite A Chicken to The Seder

That was the subject line of the email blast we recently received from Yad Eliezer.
It did catch my attention.
And I want to be on record as saying that I love Yad Eliezer and the work that they do.
I also love chickens, although we are having tuna steaks for the Seder this year.
But as a Direct Marketer, as soon as I opened the email I noticed several problems that are becomeing very common, and in my humble opinion, only decrease response rates.

Here’s a list:
1) No photo of a chicken. Minor, but if you are talking about chicken, get a picture of a chicken (live or cooked) into the body of the message. If nothing else, it continues the subject lines’s inside joke.
2) Too wordy! Way too much text and it reads like a direct mail letter. Direct mail letters are great and it takes a real professional to write one (check out this link). But they are for a different audience on a differnt medium who respond in a different way.
3) The call to action, the “Donate Now” button, is at the bottom after all of that text. It should be near the top.
4) Why a PS? Again this is not a Direct Mail letter.
5) Personally, I don’t believe in any option that allows people to click off of your email. Just state the Charity navigator rating. If they want to check it out, they will. Don’t give people an option to click off of your message.
6) If you do click on the “Donate Now Button” you land on a page with a broken matzah and a reference to another Foundation. Very confusing. And the theme (chicken, feed the hungry) is not carried through.
I could go on, but in the spirit of the Holiday I want to commend the work of Yad Eliezer and suggest that you donate to them by clicking here.