Yoav Kaufman

Top Ten Ways You Know You are the Jewish Person at Your Company Holiday Party

Yoav Kaufman 12/24/2009 Fun
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Top Ten Ways You Know You are the Jewish Person at Your Company Holiday Party
10. Because there isn’t any kosher food, you’re completely drunk 15 minutes into it

9. People keep awkwardly wishing you a “Merry Christ….um kanika..um Holiday”
8. You’re checking the Egg Nog carton for a kosher symbol
7. You’re singing along with all the cheesy Christmas songs; the words you don’t know suddenly become a Jewish niggun “Nie Nie Nie Nie Nie”
6. PC Coworkers give you completely unnecessary, sympathetic “I’m so sorry” looks when Boss makes harmless “Ho Ho Ho” reference
5. Let’s face it, Santa looks a heck of a lot frummer than you
4. There’s something about wishing people a “Merry Christmas” that makes you feel a little dangerous
3. Every speech gets interrupted by the sound of you opening your quadruple rapped tin foil kosher meal
2. You begin to suspect the whole “Naughty or Nice” concept is just a Yom Kippur rip-off
1. By the end of the night you are so drunk that you find yourself accidentally wishing “Merry Christmas” to the only other Jewish Person at the party

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